Today, I am 6 days on from my second round of chemotherapy. After having a few days on the sofa feeling sorry for myself I thought I would write my blog. The sun is shining at last, although I can’t seem to tolerate the sun at the moment. I havent been out but have been lying on my sofa looking out at my garden and pots of flowers. I love this room; it is light and airy, and I enjoy lying here feeling the breeze through the door. The cats wander in and out frequently to meow at me or look at their food bowl.
I have lovely family photos on one wall and one of my mum’s fabulous paintings on another (clever mum). My sofa points towards the door so I can prop up on cushions and look straight ahead into my garden. The washing is drying on the line and my chilli plants are sunbathing. The ones that haven’t been eaten by slugs anyway! That is another story!
After seeing the oncologist last week, they decided to reduce my chemotherapy due to previous dehydration due to tummy issues. I was slightly reluctant in case it was less effective. However, they reassured me it was better than having a break in treatment due to side-effects.
I went a few days before my treatment, to have my PICC line inserted. This is a cannula that is fed into a vein in the arm and into a large vein in the chest, above the heart. I was not keen on having this, initially, but the medication is so toxic it can ruin perfectly good veins. My veins are lovely! So, I wanted to keep them. My hand is still sore and swollen from the first session, so I thought it the best option. It was supposed to me a half hour procedure, but in line with how my body reacts to medical things, mine wouldn’t go in! It got stuck somewhere near my shoulder.
After lots of pulling it out and pushing it back in it was eventually in but needed an Xray to check. I have now got used to the little friend in my arm and it doesn’t bother me unless I lean on it. It is much easier for treatment and bloods, and it should stay in until my final dose (that day cannot come soon enough).
A few days before treatment I also buzz cut my hair, as it had started falling out in clumps. When I say ‘I’, Jane popped round and did the deed in my back garden. It felt odd. To start with I was ok, it’s just hair. Then I wasn’t ok….. I looked like a patient.
Treatment day came and went. All went ok except I developed a rash which needed checking. I think my body was reacting to the steroids a little bit. I had some different sickness medications to take home this time. Tummy issues have returned but hopefully I can manage it without the dehydration this time. I stopped worrying about my lack of hair once I had feeling rough to worry about! Before my treatment started, I received a box of treats from a company called Little Lifts. It is for people going through cancer treatment. The bits in the box are wonderful and it contains things you wouldn’t know you would need. Lip balm, hand cream, mints, gentle toothpaste, hot pack and loads of other treats. I’ve dipped into this box many times and will do many times to come. Link to Little Lifts is here.
Helen picked me up after treatment with a wonderful bunch of sunflowers and cake. Friends and family messaged me often to check my well being and my wonderful neighbour Yasmin came round with homemade soup and healing thoughts.
Once again though I am turning a corner and starting to feel a little but more myself. Yesterday, my guitar came out for the first time in a while and played some of Boulevard of Broken Dreams. I’ve also restarted reading my book ‘Wintering’, Katherine May. Although we are in the middle of July, Wintering is around hibernating and hunkering down. That is exactly what I feel like doing at the moment. Resetting and healing myself. Sometimes we just need to listen to what our bodies need.
I continue to feel incredibly lucky that my treatment was just a short sharp surgery and so sorry that you (and my friend Jane, and many others) have to go through the ‘nasty’ treatment route. Whenever I had ‘troubles’ in life, my lovely mum would say ‘you’ll look back at this in 6 months time, and it will be passed and done and you’ll have moved on’. Might be more like a year or 18 months, but I’m looking forward to celebrating being past this with you, and into the next phase of life. Maybe we can jam together?! Lots of love, Jo xx
Thanks Jo. Yes I keep saying to Paul, we will look back on this time when it is all behind us and be able to move forwards. It does feel overwhelming at times but one step at a time is the only way to go. The next chemo will be half way. I cant wait to celebrate 🙂 xx
Lovely writing Sadie. Hope you start to feel better soon. Keep us updated. Love reading your blog. Sending lots of love and hugs ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks Jean, hope you are well xx
I believe writing about your experience is cathartic and enables contact with others going through the same/similar so you don’t feel so alone. It’s so heartening to hear about the support from little lifts to help cope with these effects. The friendship and support of friends and family is irreplaceable and a cherished memory of this time I’m certain! Lots of love Sadie from me – was chatting about your running plan for half marathon yest!! Xxxx
Thanks Christine xx
U are smashing it little one.. and remember its only a moment in time and then life will return to normal and u will be running in the hills again.. love u x
Love you too little pal xx
I love reading your blogs. You’re amazing! Great to hear your strumming again and you’ve haven’t been defeated in the slug wars. Sending you lots of love and big hugs xxx
Thank you 🙂 xx